When I initially created this blog I didn’t imagine flogging the Shit& horse for more than one hearty-chuckle-filled hour, let alone several months. Thanks to all you visitors and commentators who made this blog great. We had fun while it lasted but alas I think the joke is getting old now, so before we offend someone (I know ha!) it’s about time to bow out peacefully.

A special thanks to all you type designers for taking it on the chin!

If you’d like to be among the first on our next bandwagon, follow us on twitter @dbushell, @dsgnheroes and @lovedsgn and wait for something special to happen, I guess.

Adios.

We’re back for another eye gouging foray into the just splendid world of Shit Ampersands™. (And people wonder why I haven’t posted in a while.)

While you soak in the blood of this freshly butchered abomination I’d like to invite the more typographically discerning folk among you to “av a butchers” at our new project LoveDsgn (@lovedsgn), it’s going to be magical…

Now keep it real people, and keep those ampersands SHIT. It makes my life a whole lot easier.

Sick bastards.

Shit myself when I saw this.

The designer probably shit his socks too drawing it.

Ok, enough shit, for now.

(follow my shitty twitter feed)

Not a word in my language. Shit is though, which is handy. This one has all the merits of a 7 year old’s drawing (i.e. none) but it’ll probably be pinned on a fridge somewhere. That’s why there is so much bad design out there, people just can’t say “that fucking sucks” when required.

Aaaaaannnyway, we got featured in the IDSGN monthly review which is a bloody surprise to be honest. Editing standards must be slipping.

Shit ampersand that’s what. (for Wednesday – the middle day.)

It’s Tuesday, it’s 7 O’Clock, it’s time for the daily SHIT ampersand.

LOOK AT IT, IS THAT SHIT ENOUGH FOR YOU?

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water!

We’re back – after a shitastic week off – and we’re revving up the week with Monday’s saggy sack of sorry shit the Tablet ampersand! All hail the Tablet ampersand.

The longer you stare at it the more you see. But don’t look for too long, believe me! I’ve written papers on the long term damage a shit ampersand can do.

In other news, specifically Shit& related – you’re not coming here for a fucking weather report are you – an update on the Shit& Book will come your way next week! Get yourself on the newsletter for optimum news consuming efficiency.

* enhance it using Adobe® Photoshop® software.

Imagine my delight when I spotted another @mpersand!

It’s not particularly ugly, it even looks quite fun, but if it turns up in your portfolio book you’ll be laughed out off town.

In case you’re wondering how to pronounce @mpersand, it does require removal of the tongue via a Swann-Morton crafts knife, FYI.

I can’t remember whether this was a dead worm I scraped of the bottom off my shoe or an ampersand*, either way it’s getting blogged.

* I print them out and trample them into muddy puddles.

What?

Spend your child’s inheritance on Adobe Font Folio 11 and you get this masterpiece. Not convinced? You get Postino Std too – for those occasions you want to be taken a little more professionally (but not quite “corporate”).

I mean come on! Ok, it’s a script font, but what kind of crazy bastard writes their ampersands like this? DO YOU? Hope not.

…but they were already living amongst us.

ATTACK OF THE AMPERSANDS!!

Though it doesn’t mean you should be.

Neville Brody.

it’s margarita Friday,

WOOOOO!!

- noun

1. An ampersand with an uncanny resembalance to a fucking swastika.
2. Possible horcrux.

• It’s a fucking mess ✔

So anyway, I’ve been thinking long and hard about shit ampersands lately. I mean, evidently there’s a few about, but does anyone ever use them? Just look at that thing up there. What possible situation could that be used?

I can’t get my head around it, it’s madness!

If per chance you need to ampersand eye bleach, check out Good Ampersand.

A lot of people criticise shitty typefaces. But what they don’t understand is the difficultly with which they’re created. You see, with a good ampersand design you can use reason, logic, core typographic principles (and there’s plenty to plagiarise too). But with a shit ampersand ™ it’s all gut instinct. And it takes bloody ages to clean up afterwards.

For more insight into ampersand design philosophy get on the mailing list for our book, before the horse has bolted.

★ NEWS! ★

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What makes this even better is that the rest of the font is rather standard. I think the designer planted it there on purpose, your setting a bit of type and then BAM! AMPERSLAMMED.

Oh, hey guys! I trust y’all having a good day? If not, print and cut this ampersand* out and throw it at whoever’s pissing you off.

* Anything over 200gsm is considered a lethal weapon FYI.

Take for example, the ampersand of “Zephyrean Gust BRK”. As eloquently named as it was designed, this magical beast inspired me to scoop my eyeballs from their sockets and impale them with a fineliner (0.5mm).

It’s so bad it might even become the new Shit& logo. It’s…just…so..damn…terriblGAAAAAHHHHHHH!! WHO USES THIS???

Sacrilege I tell you!

Also, if you’re not following @sht_ampersand on twitter you’re missing out on the mind-explodingly hilarious slices of ampersand wisdom like:

“Ampersand?” – June 5th 2:08 AM

and:

“Info on the site.” – about 21 hours ago.

That one had the boys laughing for hours.

Bling bling! Pimp your ampersand my friend.

Your clients want hip, they want now, they want to connect with the kids through an integrated social media solution synergized with their viral conversation through facebook twitter and youtube using rich media and next generation sustainability that’ll give them great ROI and yourself an impressive portfolio piece.

They can fuck right off.

But now that I’ve got your attention. Who among you are true designers and would like to buy a Shit& Poster for your studio wall, or parent’s basement? For a mere princely sum of 5 of the Queen’s finest (or 15 bucks* across the pond) it could be yours! It will impress your clients and provide handy guidance for when you’re designed off your face on Vodka Red Bull.

Leave a comment below. If there’s enough interest I’ll knock out the poster Wednesday night in the pub on my iPad and have it shipping by the weekend. The best comment gets 1 free!

Now run along you little scamp! And take Helvetica Bold with you.

* yes I’ll make up my own exchange rate

Update 7th June – We may be printing some kind of newspaper now (with a centre fold poster)!

This bus-flattened demented offspring of Sonic & Tails will give you nightmares if you’re reading this at night. Why you would be reading this blog before bed I don’t know…

Well I suppose most designers wet their pants at the sight of an ampersand so I can undersand a few people having slightly more unusual tastes. Probably the same designers who swear by using “Adobe” Fireworks even though Adobe haven’t actually done anything except re-release the same product with a new UI every year that’s even more fucked up than the previous one.

I bet this ampersand was designed in Fireworks.

STOP HAUNTING MY DREAMS.

AD Mono!

Some great suggestions coming into the Shit& inbox – why not share yours! If it ranks highly on the Shitometer I’ll post it here. (Providing I have that particular font on my DVD of questionable origins.)

Then he was banished into the fiery pits for eternity. Probably being forced to hand-paint Pantone mugs.

Apparently “Bernie Bold is a flexible font. It can be used for large typesetting, desktop publishing and many other applications.” – Yeah…. No.

And if not, I’m sure you can convince your Grandma it’ll suit her knitwear collection.

The font is actually designed for showing keyboard instructions within documentation which ain’t necessarily a bad idea. Until you go searching for the ampersand key*.

* only Macs have ampersand keys, that’ll be why graphic designers need ‘em.

In reality I don’t actually give a shit. And speaking of which (lol) you’re hereby witnessing an @mpersand – ain’t it a beauty? You saw it here first folks.

And I doubt you’ll see it again!